So, I know I've gone MIA a bit with updates and posts. Things have been really tough. I have never known physical pain like I have experienced in the last month. I will elaborate more in that in a future post. I want to keep this post short. Even blogging from my phone poses it's challenges as I am doing it all left-handed. (pretty impressive if I so say so myself)
Ok. So I just had to share this story and preserve it forever so I never forget it. During our family prayer time tonight my pain was at a pretty high level. I really try to protect the kids and hurt where they can't see me, but it was unavoidable tonight. They saw. My 8 year old, Joey, was right next to me as it hit. We were all kneeling and when I put my head down he reached out to me and took my hand. As I was bearing down to get through the wave of pain, he squeezed it. "Are you ok?", he asks. I take a breath and muster up a weak "yeah" that he didn't seem too convinced of. I looked up at Jess as to say, "come on...let's do this so I can leave!" Jess said the prayer. I'm guessing he did that because the kids prayers can be long sometimes.
Joey never let go of my hand.
I heard him sniffing during the prayer. He was crying but trying not to. After our "amen" I took him and pulled him close to me.
"Are you okay sweetie?" He nods. Always trying to be tough. "Can you tell me what's wrong?" He shrugs. "Are you worried about me?" He nods and cries even harder as he buries his face into me. "Can you tell me what you are worried about?" After a moment he says, "I'm worried because you are getting so sick."
Broke my heart.
I assured him that things would be ok and that inside I'm getting better, even if it's hard to tell on the outside.
We cried together for a bit.
I held him until he was better and I sent him to bed with a kiss.
While in his room he had his door closed and his light on. I paid it no attention. Not the usual bedtime protocol, but I didn't see an immediate reason to tell him lights out. A few minutes later he came out and gave me this card.
I will forever remember his cute little smile while he outstretched his arm to me. Giving me a gift from his heart. I'm glad he made it because it seemed to make him feel better.
I thanked him over and over and he ran off to bed. Light off, door open. Like usual. He left me there holding his gift, in awe of his sweetness.
So much for a short post! This has taken me way too long, and my pillow calls (and I'm starting to hurt), but I had to do the story justice.
I love you Joey. Don't worry. Mommy will be okay. I promise.