|A long, windy road. Glad I don't travel alone!|
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
When Joseph's trials seem to come to an unbearable peak, this is the song of his heart.
It has been stuck in my head for days and is serving as a blessing to my spirit. A great "theme" to be running through my head during tough times.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Friday, September 7, 2012
This was my radiation Dr's cute (and actually kind of funny) comment as he and I were discussing the weight gain and swelling in my face and body. Due to the steroid that I have to take until the tumor is under control, I am dealing with this very uncomfortable feeling. I hate it.
Being very fitness-minded since I was 13 years old, sometimes the mirror is a hard foe to face.
I guess I am more vain than I like to admit...lol. I'm a girl! ;)
I'm only comparing myself to myself of course. I know my body. I know how it should feel. Even post baby, when I've had extra weight to loose, my body NEVER felt like this.
I'm short, and have a small frame, so an extra 15-20 lbs (I hope not more...ahhh) is very noticeable.
I often feel like I have a layer (or two) of bubble wrap around me. I have actually lost muscle control...so weird. I hate drugs...
So this is my venting post for today, BUT HERE IS MY POSITIVE SPIN...
Yes. I'm getting bigger and self-concious...but I'm ALIVE!
Yes, I've gained weight...but we are shrinking the tumor!
Yes, I may be wearing workout pants all the time...but I'm going to LOVE shopping when this is all over!
Yes, I struggle with it emotionally...but the beautiful thing is that Jess makes me feel no less beautiful. He is the glue that holds me together.
"More of me to love" is ok while we shrink the tumor.
I accept it and I embrace my life with gratitude everyday.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
In waking up way too early (again) this morning I had to find myself something to do.
Yesterday I thought cleaning toilets and scrubbing floors was a good way to spend my early-morning energy... but this morning I sought out a spiritual message to set the tone for my day.
Yesterday it did work out quite well though!!! I cleaned in the quiet of a sleeping, peaceful house...then got to spend the rest of the day being able to focus on getting to doctor appointments, taking care of my kids and spending time with my family. Which made for a nice day! (Besides the fact that I got up at 3am!)
*sigh* Here is another early morning...might as well try to take advantage of the energy that I DO have when I have it comes!
So 3am rolls around again. Awake probably because of my medication. There is much more cleaning to be done...but, no thanks. I decided to sit at my computer and go to www.lds.org.
There is so, so much on that site that I knew that I'd find something to "speak to me" and provide the words of inspiration and encouragement that I needed. My "tank" needed to be filled...and guess what...
...I was right! (I love it when that happens!!!)
With a few "random" clicks, this talk from the last General Conference (of the LDS church) just fell out of the screen at me.
No matter your denomination, the spirit when you feel when you hear/read good men speak of Godly things is undeniable...and I really needed to hear this talk at this moment.
I've actually listened to it twice from minute 9:45 on...touched and softened my heart.
I blog about this because, in the future, I want my children to know who real strength comes from. I want them to know that I had faith and worked everyday to learn to trust in God. It is my hope that if I grow my faith, I will be a better example and give them that much of a "head start" in their search for their own faith that can help them endure the struggles that will come in their lives.
It feels like one of my most important jobs as a mother and it is my prayer that I can do so adequately.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
I like this logo that my sister, Natalie, designed for me last year. I'm not too crazy about a shirt with my actual name on it (instead of an awareness ribbon or, something) but it was put together so beautifully, I really do like it!
The reason I bring it up again, is that we have some left over from the last fundraiser...and...as you can figure out...medical expenses are once again getting out of control and hard to manage. In some cases we have already gone into collection.
...so who wants to buy a t-shirt? :D ;)
Jess is also going to re-do our info/donation site so it is up to date.
Maybe this will help spread the word a little better about how much we could use a boost...
It is crazy how just a few dollars from a few people can start to help out with bills and take huge,financial stress off of us. Parents know that it is already though paying for "normal" life with 4 active kids! Then we add all of my (what I call) "no fun debt", and it just rains on our parade.
Anyways. Be on the lookout. For some new stuff. If you are comfortable with it, and find it appropriate, help us spread the word around by sharing the link we will have up and running soon.