Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
I was admitted to the hospital on March 2nd. It was a Friday night. I was experiencing so much nerve pain in my arms and neck that people could hardly touch me without sending me writhing in pain. The next day was a Saturday and the radiation center closes on the weekends...but I needed help. The amazing Dr Flores came in on his day off and gave me my first, much needed, radiation treatment. That was a crucial step in saving my life. I am forever grateful to him. Forever.
So that started my next 15 treatments with Dr Flores and his angelic staff. From March 3 until yesterday, March 27 they took me from barely being able to wiggle my feet...to walking with a cane. Nothing short of a miracle in my eyes.
Did the radiation have side-effects? Yes, of course. But no mater how my skin, throat or fatigue level was...um...there was no denying the benefits were far outweighing the few side effects.
Dr Flores and his staff will forever hold a special place in my heart. I truly love them for what they have done in my life.
Yesterday was my last radiation treatment. I am actually kind of sad. Radiation has been such a wonderful part of my recovery that I'm almost scared to have it end. I had no idea what to expect from radiation, as I had never done it before, and I am so grateful that they were able to help me so much.
Now I have to start the chemo part. It will start tomorrow. Bleh. I know what to expect there. Although...I've never been in an inpatient situation and had nurses watch me through it, so maybe they can help me control the symptoms better...here's hoping!
Once I get my first chemo and recover enough from it, I am making a big move down from the 5th floor to the 4th floor. This is exciting because this is a floor dedicated to rehabilitation and getting me HOME! They even have a gym! Lol. Right up my alley for sure. ;)
So that's where we are at. Cancer is shrinking and I'm getting stronger. Chemo is going to tear me down a bit, but with all the love and encouragement that I have I know I can make it through.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Good morning! I had a decent nights rest last night, though my standards on that are kind of low right now. If I can get 3 straight hours of sleep I'm delighted! Last night I almost got equivalent of two sets of those three hour sleep times, so that's pretty good...even though there was 4 hours or so in between them I'll take it! Not exactly sure why my body doesn't just zonk out at the end of the day, I feel tired...might be one of the meds keeping my brain awake.
So it's Sunday morning and I wish I was going to church. I miss church. I will have to remember this feeling in the future when life gets more normal and it may get easier to slip into not appreciating this special time to worship and be with family and friends. I try my best to make it feel like a sunday though. Try to separate the Sabbath from the other days of my week. Tricky to do in a hospital, but the mighty laptop makes it so easy to watch/listen to talks and hymns, I really have no excuse not to feel the spirit and be uplifted sometime today.
Enjoy your Sundays with your families today. Remember to thank God for all that you are blessed with today...it could change in an instant...
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Keep the love and encouragement coming! It means so much to me and strengthens me. Little successes everyday supported by a lot of love really keep me going.
I have a lot of time to reflect right now. One thing that I am having fun doing is strengthening family and friend relationships. Not my husband and kids so much, that is strong, but the ones that could be better. I don't have tons of ingenious advice on how to do this, but all I am doing is making a more concious effort to connect. Even with those I feel are harder to connect with. Because there is a VERY good chance that the reason a certain relationship hasn't reached it's full potential is because of ME and my mindset, not theirs. (I've fallen into the trap before that it its them, not me. Such a helpless place to be.) So...i change my thoughts, my actions are more proactive, and I'm thrilling in feeling more connectiions and more love. It works! Easy? Comfortable? No, not always, family relationships will always be far from perfect. They will always be a lot of work. But as I put even the tiniest bit of effort in, the rewards are amazing.
I just wanted to share what was on my heart. I'm grateful I have this time to better myself.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
just a quick note to say how excited I am today to start physical therapy! I'm excited to get this body of mine moving again. I never realized how much I took for granted before. how amazing our bodies are and how everything connects with the brain. my muscles maybe weak but my will is strong... I will walk, run and dance again. I don't know if it's too ambitious, but I want to be walking before the end of next week. as of right now I cant sit up in bed on my own, so it is a lofty goal. thank you for your prayers, they strengthen me... and I can use all the extra strength I can get right now!
( I am using "talk to text" on my phone to be able to blog, so please excuse any spelling or punctuation that may seem a little bit off. :) )