I found this picture of a brain and I just love it. It is alive, active, it is giving and receiving information, like it should. A beautiful picture.
I am big into using visualizations, so when I found this I knew how to exactly picture my healthy brain, as I want it to be! I use a few visualizations actually. Jess and I were finally able to SEE the growth in my head on Wednesday, and seeing it really helps me to visualize it shrinking with every treatment.
...on that note...
We knew there was a tumor in my brain. We knew it was big enough to cause problems...we even knew the approximate size in cm...but when you see the actual picture from inside of your head...having something in there that doesn't belong...you're never really prepared. It is never as small as you pictured or hoped.
It was too big.
Of course I'm going to say that though. I want there to be nothing in there...well...good brain stuff...lol. You know what I mean.
We are currently working on getting good images of the scan to put up and update our website...
...but in the meantime, picture this:
Place a 1x1x1 inch mass about at the intersection of where the red, green and blue colors meet in this digram. Central to the back of the brain. It isn't on the "edge" or outside. It is embedded pretty well into the healthy brain matter. No real "short" route to get there for the radiation beam.
Fortunately (with that as crazy as it sounds) all I'm struggling with is vision loss and balance problems. Physical things. Not memory loss, personality changes, problems with names, faces, or other even tougher things lose.
So grateful for that too!
Here is what it looks like when I am on the table getting my brain back to normal (as "normal" as I ever was, lol) . Kind of creepy. Kind of barbaric looking too.
But I look strangely at peace here too.
Having your face secured down onto a table forces you to find an instant happy place to be. That's when I use my favorite healing visualizations. It is a power my mind has that I want to let have full reign.
"My brain is a beautiful, complicated machine that is going to heal and fully function one day soon. The mass is shrinking everyday. My progress is growing everyday."